HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
