who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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