i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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