I'm laying in your front yard are you home
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
