I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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