you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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