Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
