Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
