hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
