Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
