I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
