just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
