Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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