Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
