so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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