dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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