Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
