A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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