Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
