The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
