My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Life is so much better after having sex.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
