It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
