So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
