I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
