so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize