The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
