did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
