my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You peed on a flamingo?!?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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