is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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