I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
