I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
