I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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