just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
