He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
