My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You can't motorboat a personality
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
