I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
