I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
where are my eyebrows?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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