hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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