I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
