she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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