Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
