no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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