OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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