false alarm. still invincible.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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