The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
