The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
