dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
