in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
