If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
