The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
