My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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