I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
