i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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