This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Operation Purity has been aborted
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
